How to Talk with Your Youth During Difficult Moments
When a young person is struggling, how we respond can make a big difference. You don’t need the perfect words — being present, calm, and supportive matters most.
💡 You don’t have to fix everything. Listening and staying connected is often the most helpful first step.
Start with Connection
Before problem-solving, focus on helping your youth feel safe, heard, and understood.
Be Present
- Give your full attention
- Put distractions aside when possible
- Stay physically and emotionally available
Stay Calm
- Use a steady, reassuring tone
- Take a breath before responding
- Model calm even if you feel overwhelmed
Listen First
- Let them talk without interrupting
- Avoid jumping to solutions right away
- Show you are trying to understand
What to Say
💬 “I’m here with you.”
💬 “I’m really glad you told me.”
💬 “Can you tell me more about what’s going on?”
💬 “We can figure this out together.”
💬 “I’m really glad you told me.”
💬 “Can you tell me more about what’s going on?”
💬 “We can figure this out together.”
What to Avoid
- “You’ll get over it.”
- “Other people have it worse.”
- “Just calm down.”
- “You’re being dramatic.”
Even well-intended statements can feel dismissive. Focus on understanding rather than correcting.
If Your Youth Doesn’t Want to Talk
Not all youth will open up right away — and that’s okay.
- Let them know you’re available when they’re ready
- Check in gently over time
- Offer other ways to communicate (texting, writing, drawing)
- Keep showing up consistently
When to Get Additional Support
If your youth is showing signs of distress that are not improving, or you are concerned about their safety, reaching out for additional help is an important next step.